When a flower laughs
by The Poisoned Widow
Summary: This is my first fanfiction. Poison Ivy breaks out of Arkham, but finds herself helping two clowns, a cat and a question mark... Contains Ivy/Joker and Riddler/Catwoman pairings. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

''I wasn't always like this, you know. See, nobody ever really cared about plants or flowers as much as I did. I was fascinated by the thought of something so beautiful yet so natural. And before I '_blossomed', _you could say, I lacked confidence and unfortunately I was seduced and controlled by my boss. I guess I'm sort of thankful for it in the end, though. The 'experiment' altered everything I ever was, but it helped me see the light. But then I was shown the horror that was the truth. I could hear the screams of terror and pain that came from below my feet. I needed to stop the abusing nature of imbecilic humans and save these poor, abandoned children of the earth. I decided to treat nature's beauty as my adopted babies. All I wanted was to live in harmony with the earth. I knew it wouldn't be easy, nothing ever is. But I knew, that someday... someday I would change things for the better and Mother Nature would reign over all mankind and we would create a furious army of flowers and plants and destroy the careless humans that ever tried to hurt and cross us!''

At this point, Pamela Isley had kicked over the table in the investigation room and the doctor in the room had taken shelter in the far corner.

Tears welled up in Pamela's eyes.

''I would save my babies, **by any means necessary**.''

Even though Pamela was handcuffed to her chair and really, was no danger, her anger had frightened the doctor. She had never seen someone so driven to kill for such a peculiar reason in all her years at Arkham. She was sent in to make a decision on whether or not 'Inmate No. 09153644' was suitable for Arkham's facilities.

_This girl is nuts. _

_..._

_She'll do well in here. _

Two guards arrived and took Pamela to her cell. She could hear the screaming and rioting coming from other patients around her but she didn't dare turn to look at them. _Ignore them; you won't be in here for long enough to make any 'friends'. _She didn't have a plan to break out, yet. But she knew it wouldn't be long until she figured something out. Her seductive nature allowed her to manipulate men into doing whatever she requested; it would come in handy, for sure.

Once she sat down in her cell, they locked the glass door. The cells were unlike any cell she had seen before. These cells were made of see-through glass, allowing anyone to see what the patients were doing. There was no hiding here.

And that's when she heard it.

The high-pitched screech of a laugh came from the cell opposite her. She looked up with curiosity. _What in the hell..?_

_..._

Then she saw her. The girl had blonde hair that was styled in piggy tails. She wore the same orange body suit we all wore. She kept on laughing until one of the other patients shouted,

''For god's sake Harley, shut it!''

_Harley. As in Harley Quinn, The Joker's sidekick/girlfriend? _

Pamela had read an article about her once. Harleen Quinzel, psychiatrist turned psychopath. It must have been strange, once she was treating patients and now she was being treated as a patient. Anyway, Harley didn't stop laughing until she opened her eyes and stared directly at Pamela.

''And what are **you** lookin' at?'' Harley questioned Pamela. ''Oh wait! Aren't you that plant lady? Poison..Okey?''

Pamela sighed. ''**It's** **Ivy,** **Poison Ivy**.'' She could tell already that she wasn't going to like this girl. Pamela adapted the alias 'Poison Ivy' to keep her true identity a secret as she no longer was the shy wallflower they called Pamela Lillian Isley.

The blonde girl spoke again. ''Anyway, I'm Harley Quinn. It's nice to meet ya'!'' She put out her small hand with a big smile on her face, realised she couldn't shake Pamela's hand due to different cells, and her smile immediately dropped.

Pamela sighed again.

''It's nice to meet you too. How long have you been here?'' She remembered the article mentioning that Harley had broken out of Arkham Asylum quite a few times; she might be able to use her to her advantage.

''Hmm. Loadsa times!'' She laughed. Pamela decided that she would befriend this girl, even if she was a little _funny_.


	2. Chapter 2

Pamela sat at a bench staring out into the distance. _I wonder how my babies are doing. I hope nobody has harmed them, I will seriously do some damage when I get out of here if anyone's touched them. Speaking of getting out of here... _Harley Quinn, her fellow inmate, had bounced into the room giggling with a big smile on her face as usual. ''Hey there Red!''

Over the past month, Pamela had become close with the blonde-headed girl, even if she wasn't all that bright.

''Oh hi Harley. Any news on the Joker front?''

''Yes! He's my puddin'!'' She smiled.

_Like I said, she's not so bright._

''I mean...'' Her voice turned into a whisper as she leaned in to Harley's ear. ''Is there any news on us breaking out of **_here_**?''

Harley laughed. ''Oh yeah! Puddin' said he's gonna come for me this weekend!'' She giggled excitedly.

Pamela shot Harley a confused look. ''Wait, 'coming for **_me _**this weekend'? What about me?''

Harley's face dropped. ''Oh yeah, about that... I kinda forgot to ask him about breaking you out as well...'' Harley then flinched as if Pamela was going to hit her.

''What do you mean you 'forgot'? He's going to break me out, right? He has to break me out!'' She started to get angry as Harley edged away from her red-haired friend.

''You know I need to get out. You're my only rescue, remember? I thought I was your friend, Harls. I thought since you told me everything that we were close, Harley. I thought, because of everything Joker's put you through that I would matter more than that clown of a boyfriend. I thought that since I can help you live a better life without abuse from that **_bastard, _**that you would do _me_ a favour! Oh but no. Of course not. You don't care about me, do ya Harls? I didn't think so.'' As she looked away from her 'friend', she could hear her cry silently.

_Shouting at the bimbo won't increase your chances of breaking out, Pam. Apologise._

Pamela turned to face Harley and scooted over to where Harley was sitting on the bench. She put her arms around her and whispered, ''I'm sorry Harley. I just get angry sometimes when you don't listen to me.'' She smiled and lifted the blonde's chin up with her finger. She got out a clean tissue and wiped up her tears. ''I know you don't like people shouting at you, I'm a little stressed about my children that's all.'' Harley smiled back and jumped up off the bench, hitting Pamela in the face with her elbow. ''Ouch!'' She screamed. Harley gasped dramatically, ''I'm so sorry Red! I didn't mean to hit you!'' Pamela sighed. ''No, no. It's fine.''

''Anyway, I'm gonna go upstairs and tell Puddin that he has to let you out otherwise I'm staying here!'' She stomped her foot for effect. ''You'd do that, for me?'' Pam put on her best 'puppy face' and Harley turned to goo. "Of course Red! Who could say no to that little face?'' She then danced away and Pamela smiled. She had always enjoyed acting, especially faking emotions. Always comes in handy when she wanted something bad enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Night. All was sleeping or rocking themselves to sleep. Either way, no one could hear them. The guards were busy, the cameras were off, and all was quiet. They stood at the cold, steel locked doors, peering up at the height and wondering how long he'd be. Ivy had waited two weeks before Harley Quinn came running up to her with news that was somewhat valuable to her. See, for some time, Harley had promised that her boyfriend, the famous 'Joker', was going to break them out of Arkham Asylum. Today was the day. The day that she would finally be free. She knew exactly what she'd do. _My babies_. _I do hope Selina has taken care of them... _Suddenly, a great booming noise came from the steel door. Then, there came a cheerful, almost childlike voice from the other side. "Harls! Oh Haaarrleeey!" It was him. The man she'd been waiting on. Finally, she could escape this dreadful place.

"Oh puddin'! It's really you! Oh boy I can't wait to see ya'!" Harley jumped up and down excitedly as the door slid open with a screech and a tall, colourful figure stepped forward. Harley had put on her jester costume for the special occasion. Unfortunately, the guards had Pamela's leafy green dress, so she had no choice but to wear the stained orange jumpsuit that so many had worn before her. Harley jumped into the Joker's arms and he carried her away into the darkness that was before them. Pam sighed as she walked closely behind them into the corridor.

"Jesus Red, you look terrible!" exclaimed Joker as he laughed manically. He had only noticed she was in his presence when they got into the car and were on their way out of Arkham. He had already given her a nickname. "Thanks, Joker." She replied, boringly. "Please, call me _Jack_!" He cried dramatically, and again, laughed. _This is why he's called 'the Joker' Pam, it's not just because he's funny looking. _She giggled to herself and Jack spun round. "Harley, you never told me anything about your 'friend', how come she's so important all of a sudden?" He grinned at Pamela, and then shot a look at Harley who was taking control of the wheel. "Oh yeah! She's my bestest frien'. Ain't that right Red?"

"Yep. Sure is." Replied Pamela, looking out the window. Jack looked unsure. "What use will she be Harls? Can she rob a bank? Is she good at blackmail? Can she bake a cake?" Joker burst out in tears of laughter. When he stopped, he appeared utterly serious. "Is she part of our plan?" Harley smiled. "Of course! She'll be a great help.''

"What plan?" Pamela exclaimed. "The plan where you help me break out and I go back to my babies?" She was a little discombobulated. "Not really, you see, Harley and I have a plan. It involves _Batman. _Ever heard of him?" Joker answered her, laughingly. "The guy that put me in Arkham in the first place? Yeah, I've heard of him. But what has this to do with me?" She replied. "Well, he's been trying to lock me up for good _forever _and I think it's time we vigilantes took him down. You like revenge, don't ya Pam?" He smiled viciously.

_Before she was put in Arkham, she was trying to save a forest from being destroyed. She was about to stop a bulldozer when this black bat thing came flying out of the sky and pushed her out of the way and got her arrested. Revenge ever since was against him, but frankly, she had more important things to take care of. _

"But what if I say no, to me being part of your plan, what happens then?" She looked wonderingly. "Then you can leave. But remember, if you get in trouble again, we won't help you. Deal?" Jack grinned again. "Deal." The car stopped outside Pam's greenhouse and she got out. "But if you ever come back and wanna be part of our wonderful plan, just call me." He threw a card at her. "Step on it, Harls! We've got things to do!" Joker shouted. "See ya, Red!" Harley cried as they drove away. The card was a playing card, the joker card, coincidently. There was a number scribbled into the side of the card and Ivy put it into her pocket as she walked into the greenhouse.

"Home, sweet home."


	4. Chapter 4

Ivy's babies were fine. Looked after well enough and cared for. Pam decided she'd go see her good friend Selina and thank her. Honestly, she expected to come back to a greenhouse of dead plants due to her schedule. Well, not schedule, exactly. Cat duties are a better term. Selina, after all, is best known as the thief _Catwoman._ She's usually either busy with her 'job' or her boyfriend, Eddie. Well, Edward Nygma. Though he prefers, 'The Riddler.' She didn't really have any 'normal' friends, now that she thought about it. She fed the last of her new flowers, took black trench coat and left to search for Selina.

She rang Selina's bell but there was no answer. Ivy headed round to the back entrance where she could hear Ed's voice from an open window. "I don't think she'll come around, Pamela's the stubborn kind.'' _Hmm. I wonder why I'm a conversational subject... _ She climbed through the cage-like garden and dodged all the cats and climbed up the wall. She wasn't the best at climbing but she soon had her hands on the window sill and pulled herself up. She knocked at the window and Selina ran over to help her up. Her blonde hair whipped over her face as the wind blew, but she safely helped Ivy into her apartment.

Edward pushed back his fair hair and pushed up his glasses. "What are you doing here, Ivy?" He requested plainly. Before she could answer, a familiar hyper, high-pitched voice interrupted her. "She's come to be part of our plan, isn't that right, Red?" Harley bounced over and hugged Pam excitedly. "What are you doing here?" She turned to Selina and Edward. "Are you guys in their plan thing?" Ivy had to sit down. As soon as she rekindled her breath from climbing, she turned to Selina, who was beside her. "We're in on this whole Batman thing with Harley and Jack. They told us that you were going to be in on the plan, but you refused. Are you in on it now?'' She questioned her. "I might as well be, nothing else to do.''

"Nice of you to join us Pam!" Joker exclaimed. "I knew you'd come around eventually. Now, let's get this meeting started!" He popped a party popper and went on a laughing fit. Ivy sighed. _This is going to be hard, isn't it? _

Edward nodded at Selina and she raised a hellish screech. She raised her voice over the laughing clown's and brought up a valid point. "We all need to know the plan before we go killing bats."

Jack stopped laughing. "You're absolutely right my feline friend! Off to work we must go. Any ideas, Eddie?" He giggled with random delight and his electric green hair bounced with him.

Edward fixed his black tie, which was covered in lime green question marks and cleared his throat. "Actually yes, I have a plan. Basically, we all know how the Batman works. There's trouble, he's there to stop it. We cause a scene to distract him, and then we take him down, each using our strengths to lead him into a trap. Here's what I think we should do..."

Edward talked away with enthusiasm as Pamela sat on a seat in the corner of Selina's apartment. To her surprise, the only person who caught her eye was Jack. There was something different about him; he was just like any other typical ass only this time she was strangely attracted to the clown. She couldn't see how nor why he made her feel this way- _did he spray me with something_? But he was the only thing she could think about right now. Not her splitting headache, not the crazy fact that she's in some plan to take down the Batman, oh no, it was the smiling nutcase behind it all that she had her mind set on. _So much for hating mankind, now you've got a crush on perhaps the worst one. _


	5. Chapter 5

"That's a great plan! We'll do it!" exclaimed Joker when Edward was finished. The jester jumped up and down like an excited monkey at the zoo. Harley copied him and giggled in a higher pitch than usual.

"So that's it then? We're going with that plan?" questioned The Riddler, as he pushed his curly fair hair out of his face. "Yes, Ed. We're going with _your_ plan." Selina replied while fixing his tie. He had gotten quite carried away when giving his speech about destroying the Batman.

Ivy smiled weakly. _I need to lie down. _"Umm, can I leave now? I've got a headache." Jack strolled over to her and put his arm around her. "Aww, poor Pammy's got a sore head! I'll escort you home. Selina? Can you explain the plan to Harls again; I don't think she quite understands." Pamela turned to see Harley with a confused look on her face repeating the words 'I don't get it' and Joker removed her quietly from the room, and soon they were out on the windy, wet streets of Gotham.

It wasn't long until they got to Ivy's greenhouse home. The travel was spent talking about different types of toxins and Ivy found out that he was in fact, immune to most toxins. He walked up to her front door and said "Isn't this where we kiss goodnight?" He laughed shyly. For some reason he was quieter when it was just them two. Ivy laughed and asked 'how about dinner and a movie first?' They stood in silence for a moment just staring at each other. It wasn't awkward, strangely enough, but sooner or later someone was going to say something.

_Should I kiss him? I mean, he is immune to toxins; maybe I won't kill him if I... _Before she could finish thinking up a plan, Jack stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Pamela. It was turning into a hug at this point and she put her arms around his waist and put her head on one shoulder. He was taller than her, but not by much. After the stood in this position for about a minute, she pulled away, but Jack didn't let go. He pulled her closer so that they were face to face and then he kissed her cheek. It was weird but nice. He pulled away and un-wrapped his arms from Pamela.

She got out her keys and unlocked her door. Jack started walking away and she entered her home, looking behind her occasionally to check if he was still there. She closed her door and proceeded to glance behind her, he was gone. She walked to her babies and got out the feed for the newest contribution to her garden, which needed fed by hand. Before she had finished the process, she heard a loud knock at her front door. _Who could it be? Couldn't be Jack, unless I left something in Kyle's... _ She contemplated who this mystery knocker could be but knew exactly who it was as she spotted the almost luminous green hair and purple suited figure that was standing at her front door. _Jack..? _

She opened the door but before she could speak, he started rambling. "Umm...Ed said...he said that I should come around here again...and give you...a...a proper kiss...because I like you...like really like you...for some reason..Not that you're not a good reason or anything just..." Ivy was confused. He went from a confident prick to this awkwardly nervous guy in like 20 minutes. He interrupted her again as she was about to say something. This time he interrupted her with a kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer then moved one hand up to behind her neck and kept his hand there for the duration.

When they were done, she pulled away and literally was lost for words. He smiled and hugged her and kissed her again. Ivy was still in shock. "Unfortunately, I gotta contact some people to help us out in the Batman plan. Sorry if this was sudden. Bye!" Jack started running down the street and before he turned the corner he did a little jump in the air, clicking his heels. Ivy laughed and walked back into her house.

"._..the fuck?!"_


	6. Chapter 6

Ivy was still confused. A day later, it still didn't make sense. How could he show no affection then suddenly come round to her house and kiss her. What about Harley? Aren't those two going out? What if he had to choose...?_ Well, I don't blame him for liking me. Out of the two of us, I am the obvious winner. _Ivy was getting ready to go round to Eddie's to see about the plan and maybe make some sense of things. Edward was usually right, perhaps he had some answers.

Just as she was getting her coat, she heard a knock at the door. It was persistent sounding, similar to last night's knock from Jack. She ran to the door and opened it to find Harley, Selina, Edward and Jack staring at her. "You ready for the meeting, Pam?" asked Ed as she strolled into her house casually. The others followed; Ivy sighed and closed the door behind Jack. He smiled at her and she smiled back. She entered the room to find that Eddie had already set up the table and laid out a map of Gotham City. Harley ran about the room, admiring the plants. "Ivy? Where's your kitchen? I wanna make tea!" Ivy pointed to the right and Harley skipped off.

When everyone had settled down, Harley came skipping in to the main room, spilling tea as she skipped. She sat the tray down on the table straight on top of the map. "Harley! Move your tea tray! I'm trying to work something out here." Edward exclaimed angrily and Harley hurried over to the table and moved the tray. "Sorry mista R!" she cried, taking hold of two tea cups and bringing them over to one of the sofas. She sat beside Jack, giving him his cup. He took it from her, took a sip and said "Filled with sugar, just how I like it. Thanks baby!" he said as he put his cup down and kissed Harley. Ivy sat in her seat and glanced in disbelief. Okay, nowshe was _really_ confused. "Did he just...what?!" She felt her face go red and her head felt sore again. Selina witnessed both the kiss and Ivy's reaction and realised that there was something wrong. She got up and signalled for Ivy to follow.

Pamela followed her into the next room and Selina sighed. "See, this is what I was worried about." Ivy looked confused. "What? That he would go back to Harley yet kiss me? Please, Selina! Make some sense of this! I'm really fucking confused. This is why I don't get involved with men!" She felt her eyes tearing up and she sat down on a chair and covered her face with her hands. No one was ever going to see her cry. Pamela Isley didn't cry. Selina now looked as confused as Ivy. "I don't get it either. He was meant to break up with Harley and go out with you..." She got quiet. Ivy looked up. "What? I can't believe I didn't see this coming. Of course he would go back to Harley! They are obviously meant for each other and I'm not going to get further involved in this." She was putting her foot down. Pamela got up and walked slowly back into the main room to everyone else. Selina sat down beside Eddie again and whispered something to him. "Right. What are we doing then?" Ivy said, trying to stay calm, but all the while, occasionally looked up to see Harley giggling away with Jack's arm around her.

_Oh no. _ Ivy felt her head get heavy and her limbs felt as if they were about to fall apart. Her face started to flush and her body felt like it was getting warmer and warmer. Suddenly, she could hear everything as if it was in high definition. Harley's giggling started to deafen her. She put her hands slowly up to her ears. Selina said, "Are you alright, Ivy?" but when Ivy tried to reply, she couldn't. Her throat felt as if it was swelling up and she threw one hand to her throat as if to stop the pain. No luck. _Every part of her body was slowly but painfully, breaking down_. Her stomach started aching and she put her head on her lap and tried to block everything out. Eddie was now patting her back and Selina was stroking her hair and trying to calm her down. They were speaking to her but she couldn't hear anything they were saying. Ivy quickly stood up, one hand around her throat and one around her stomach. She tried to say, "I'm alright, I'll be right back" but as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, she started to cough and the pain was too much. Before the tears could leave her eyes, she ran out of the room and into her own bedroom. She jumped into her plants, which had grown themselves into a fort-like shape and wrapped themselves around her body, which was kneeled over in a ball shape.


	7. Chapter 7

She needed to be somewhere alone, with her children. She lay deep in the heart of her fiercest trees. They would protect her best; make sure no one saw her this way. They seemed to be the only ones who were there for her. They were the only ones who could truly understand her. Pamela didn't dare cry. She viewed crying as a weakness and Poison Ivy hated weaknesses. She didn't love anybody or anything more than her babies. She never wanted anything else, until now.

There was a rustling somewhere in front of her. She knew that the intruder couldn't see her, but she knew who it was as soon as she heard the voice. There was something comical about everything Jack did, a certain ring to his voice, like deep down he was always laughing no matter what.

''Pam? I know you're in here. I mean, the trail of vines leading to these big fucking trees didn't give you away, or anything.'' He chuckled. ''I'm surprised you haven't gotten sick of my jokes. Who am I kidding, no one could get sick of my jokes, I'm hilarious!'' A fit of laughter followed. ''Come on Pammy, you've been in here long enough. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you.''

Her voice was quiet but still as seductive as always. She couldn't help it. ''What the hell? You kiss me, and then continue to go out with Harley. Are you kidding me? I mean, you are the Joker, after all. How do I know you aren't just using me so you can carry on with your master plan?'' She got up and crossed her arms. He wasn't getting away with this so easy. He had hurt her, she didn't want an apology, she wanted him to explain himself.

He sighed. ''Usually I wouldn't apologise, and if I didn't need you so much, I would've just killed you by now! Now, can you come out of there? It's hard trying to explain yourself when you're staring at a forest.''

Pamela decided to give him another chance and climbed up the side of the tree, staring down at him. A vine came from the roots of the tree and stopped in front of her. She stood on it and it left her off in front of Jack. As it was going back to where it came from, Pamela winked and the vine slapped him in the face. ''Hey! That wasn't fair!'' He exclaimed out of anger. She smirked. ''You deserved it. Now what it is you have to say? This is the last chance I'm giving you.'' Pamela folded her arms and stood completely still. She couldn't wait to see what he'd come out with.

Jack licked his lips. It seemed like he didn't know where to start. He then said, ''I... I just wanted to say that I really need your help in this plan. And again, I'm sorry for hurting you. I really like you but I can't do that to Harley. Do you accept my apology?''

''No.'' Pamela knew exactly where this was going, and she didn't seem to mind. ''What?! What more can I fucking do? I apologised, then I told you I needed you, then I apologised again...What more do you want?!'' He seemed very angry, you could see he wasn't expecting her to say 'no' so bluntly. Pamela began to shout as well. ''Well you shouldn't have kissed me then! You're so used to getting everything handed to you by that bimbo of a girlfriend! For once I'm saying NO! If you want me to work with you, then you've got to agree to my rules! Get it?'' In the heat of the moment, Jack grabbed her by the waist and pulled her so close that she could feel his heart beating through his chest a mile a minute.

Pamela whispered, ''I hate you.''

Jack replied, ''I hate you too.''


	8. Chapter 8

They stood there, in silence, despite the sound of their heavy breathing. Jack's hands were around her waist; Pamela's were resting on his chest. His left hand traced her body from her waist up to the back of her neck. His right hand clutched her waist still. His hand felt cold against her flushed skin. She didn't mind, actually she rather liked him touching her. She had never wanted to be this close to a man until now. He reached up and pulled her hair slightly. No result. Then a little harder, she made a slight noise. He smiled. It seems he had hit a nerve. Jack then tugged her hair back with force, she cried out with a sound that was almost orgasmic. He began kissing her neck, gently biting and nibbling while Pamela's right hand reached down his leg and grabbed something surely to be useful later. Jack's eyes widened and he pulled away from her neck for a brief moment.

Pamela smiled and he soon continued to kiss down her chest, slowly removing her green dress, kissing and sucking gently on one breast then the other before removing her dress completely. All this time, Pamela was biting her lip, trying not to scream at how much pleasure this was giving her. He was skilled, that's for sure. He then stood back, admiring her body from a distance. She walked over to Jack, grabbed his 'package' with one hand and pulled his head up by his hair with the other, she could see she hurt him a bit, but he seemed to enjoy it so she proceeded to kiss and lick his neck, biting his ear while removing his purple blazer, then his tie, and finally his shirt. She whispered, ''We have to be fair, now don't we? She smiled and kissed down his chest until she reached the top of his trousers. She looked up. ''You've seen me, now I want to see you.'' She somewhat violently ripped open his trousers. They were new, but he could steal new ones. He was enjoying this too much to complain about clothing.

Jack gasped as she gripped his penis. He had a huge erection and Pamela couldn't wait any longer. She removed his boxers (which had tiny 'HA's' all over them) and looked up. ''Close your eyes.'' Jack did what he was told. Something told him not to disobey her. Pamela started with rubbing his penis and slowly licking up and down his shaft using her right hand to pump and her left to play with his balls. She covered his head with her whole mouth but slowly pulled his foreskin with her lips and her hand pumped faster. He moaned louder and as she pumped his penis faster, she got more than his head in her mouth. She massaged the top of this penis with her tongue but continued to suck on more and more of his penis until she felt his head rub against the back of her throat. She then moved her head back and forth listening to his groaning and repeated what he groaned the loudest for. She licked her hand and grabbed his penis, he jerked and jizzed a bit on her hand. She licked it all up, not wanting any of it going to waste. He pulled her head up by her hair and she moaned a little.

''Lie down.'' His voice was forceful and she liked it. He got on his knees and pulled her legs up over his shoulders, and started licking her out. She was extremely wet, and he couldn't wait to be inside her. He teased her by licking his hand as well and rubbing it along her wet pussy. You could tell he was quite experienced with his tongue. She gasped and he fingered her and licked her out at the same time. This was too much for her and she screamed out. Jack looked up. He put one available finger up to her lips and signalled her to quiet down. ''Shhh. We don't want Harley to hear us, now do we?''

Ivy smiled. ''This room is soundproof.''


	9. Chapter 9

He laughed and pulled her closer to him. She lifted her head up to his ear and whispered, 'fuck me Jack' then fell back down again. He pulled her legs up around his waist and carried her over to her bed, setting her down gently, and then got up on top of her. He kissed her lips, then her neck and then pulled her legs up over his shoulders again. He teased his penis in slowly and she moaned. The bed moved and the vines that he thought were decoration lifted up from the sides and wrapped around Pamela's arms. She pulled at them as Jack moved in and out of her, increasing speed but at a slow pace still. The faster he thrusted into her, the more she moaned with ecstasy. She made the most orgasmic noises and he thrusted so fast that she screamed. 'Oh Jack!' She screamed out, she tried, but she couldn't hold it in any longer. He kept pumping inside her and she kept squealing with pleasure.

He stopped, just before she screamed again. Her vines let go of her and she ordered him to lie down. She was going to make him moan her name. He obeyed her and she climbed on top of his erection and eased herself down gently. She slowly moved up and down on top of him and he bit his fist as she continued but increased then decreased speed and he nearly moaned out but didn't let himself. _Ha. So it's a competition now... Alright. It's on._ She bounced upon his penis but then slowed down her speed and knelt back slightly. This hit a nerve in Jack and he let out a loud moan, 'Ivy!' He was louder than she expected. She giggled sensually and licked gently from his chest to his penis and French kissed the top of this shaft. He couldn't take it anymore and pulled her up by the hair and ordered her put her mouth on his dick. She started pumping again, starting off fast then slowing down as he came into her mouth. She pumped until every last drop was done. Ivy sat up, swallowed, then wiped her mouth. Ivy put on some music and they lay together.

''Ivy! Jack! Are you guys okay? You've been in there for pretty long." Pam sat up and proceeded to get dressed, as did Jack. Ivy, having less clothes to put on, walked to the door, opened it slightly and replied to Selina, who looked pretty annoyed. "Yes, we're fine. Jack just came to apologise and we're okay now. Everything's understood."

"By the way," said Selina, "Eddie has everything planned out. The whole Bat plan is sorted. If you guys don't mind joining us to discuss things, we'd like you two to join us." Ivy nodded and Selina walked away, looking back occasionally with a confused look on her face.

Ivy turned to Jack and told him of Eddie's plan, to which he responded 'Yippee!' and as they fixed themselves, they both looked in the mirror and assured each other that no one would notice what just happened.

When they entered the Ivy's living room, Harley was making more tea; Selina was trying to fix Eddie's hair, as it was currently sticking up. He looked a mess, his shirt was out of his trousers, his usually neat hair looked like it had been electrocuted, his blazer was lying in a pile on another chair and his tie needed fixed badly. He shot a crazy look at Jack and Ivy, smiled a bit, and then got up off his chair. "I've got it." He briefly explained the entire plan and each of their roles in a matter of seconds, he took a deep breath and proceeded to thank Harley for the tea, gather his things and announce that he had a meeting to go to that concerned Dr. Crane (Otherwise known as 'Scarecrow'). Selina followed, Harley and Jack had to leave and as everyone got their coats and departed, Jack was the last one. He told Harley he had to speak to Ivy about her part of the plan, so she happily skipped away, oblivious to what just happened.

"About what happened..." Jack started. "Yes?" Ivy replied. Jack scratched the back of his head and looked down. Ivy continued to look at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He looked up and put his hand at the back of her neck. He then leaned in and kissed her. After he pulled away, he said "I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but I can't hurt Harley. I really like you, and if you want, we can carry on doing this but we have to keep it a secret." Ivy nodded and hugged him. "Okay. I can keep a secret if you can?" She looked up and smiled cheekily at him. "Cool. I'll see you tomorrow at mine?" He asked her. "Sure." She smiled and he walked away.

_How did you get caught up in this? _Pam wondered.

_I should probably get some sleep; I'm tired from all that exercise._

She laughed and went into her room, reminiscing about the nights activities.

Pamela knew she had gotten herself into something she probably shouldn't have. _Ah well._


	10. Chapter 10

It was dark. Ivy found herself walking along a stony path that leaded into a humongous garden. She smiled and all her vines came down and welcomed her. Suddenly, there was a high-pitched giggle, one she had certainly heard before. It was followed by a manlier kind of laughter and Ivy looked up from her vines. In the distance, there was a blur of two faces; one had green hair, a pale white face and a big red smile. The other was almost identical, the only difference being the blonde pigtails. The faces were swirling towards her, laughing manically with each turn. Ivy fell to her knees, trying to block out the two clowns. The blonde haired face had started chanting. _Joker loves me more than you! Joker loves me more than you! _The faces swirled closer and the chanting sped up...

Ivy shot up out of her bed like a spring. The sweat was dripping off her and she was panting heavily. She put out her hand to stop her clock beeping and slowly got out of bed. Her vines were trying to dab up the beads of sweat that had taken place upon her forehead. Pam walked into the kitchen to find Eddie making tea. "How the hell did you get in here?!" She exclaimed, shocked. "My girlfriend has a key, remember?" He replied, without looking up. Ivy jumped over her sofa and landed in her seat. "Speaking of Selina, where is she?" Eddie walked over to her, handed her a cup of tea and sat down on the seat opposite her. "Out getting Jack and Harley, Jack got drunk last night and crashed the car, so now they have no means of transportation." Pam sighed and sipped her tea. There was silence.

"So, Pam.." Eddie started. "Yes Ed?" Replied Ivy. "How are you coping?" Edward looked up at her and Pamela had no reply. "Fine. Besides the nightmares." She took a deep breath and continued drinking her tea. "Do they involve Jack? And Harley? The whole love triangle?"

Ivy straightened up and screwed up her eyes at him. _How does he know about all of this? _"How do you know about that?" she asked.

Eddie raised his eyebrow and looked at her. "Is that a trick question?"

Pamela laughed and finished her tea. She was just about to explain her situation in her own words when Jack ran in, kissed her and sat beside Ed all before Harley and Selina walked in. Harley ran over to her 'puddin' and Selina sat on the other side of Edward. "Right. Being the unspoken leader of the group, I believe we must take action and begin are plan tomorrow evening. Selina, dear, you know what you're doing, right?" Edward asked. Selina nodded and Eddie went on. "Then it's Jack's turn to mess with the bat, and once you're done it's up to Ivy and me." Jack nodded and Ivy sat up.

"I'll see you all tomorrow morning outside Ivy's. We'll commence part one of plan 'Bats.''

And with that, everyone left. Jack stayed back a minute to kiss Ivy as usual and as the days passed, she wasn't sure it was a good idea to continue secretly going out with Jack. Frankly, she didn't care.

_It's not like you're in love with him or anything._

To be continued...


	11. Chapter 11

Rubbish blew like tumble weed in the empty streets of Gotham. It wasn't all that late but not a villain scaled the road. The sun was setting and the sky turned into a dreamy peachy blur above the city. The wind blew soft but she got a shiver. Ivy was outside her greenhouse, waiting. Eddie said that they'd arrive at seven o'clock and it was ten past seven. This scared her as Eddie was the punctual one and to call him late would be a serious insult, even if you were joking. Speaking of jokes, Pamela turned at the sound of a car's tyres screeching down the alley and she instantly knew who was creating the racket. Following three 'beeps' of a car horn, she heard manic laughing from the maniac himself. As the car swerved closer, she saw the lime and blonde-haired clowns jumping up and down in the front of the auto mobile They pulled up inches in front of Ivy and she sighed in relief.

"Apologies for our lateness, Pam. Jack and Harley couldn't decide what to wear." As he spoke, Edward shot an irritant look at the pair.

"Come on, Eddie boy! Ya gotta let me borrow your mean wheels sometime; I might even change the sound of your car horn to a recording of you saying 'Riddle me this! Riddle me this! Riddle me this!" The Joker laughed and Edward looked annoyed. Jack grabbed Harley's hands and started dancing with her to his repeated words of, "Riddle me this! Riddle me this!" As if it was a song.

Selina, whilst all this was going on, slid up to Ivy and gave her a brief hug. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Of course," replied Ivy. "Why wouldn't I be?" She smiled weakly.

"Don't play dumb with me flower pot; I know jealousy when I see it." Selina gave Ivy an informed look. They walked over to Edward, who was still in a huff because of the terrible twosome and their stupid dancing.

"Eddie, shouldn't we start the plan now?" asked Ivy.

"You're absolutely right! Listen up kids! Kitten, darling, you know where you're going, bring Joker and set up phase one. Ivy and I will wait on your call and commence phase two. Understood?" The Riddler talked with inspiring confidence and the others paid attention.

"Time is of an essence, ladies, so shall we?" Eddie questioned the group. Selina nodded and got into the deep green car with Jack and Ivy and Edward entered the greenhouse.

"Hey! What about me?" Harley said with sadness in her voice as the car sped away.

Edward walked back out of Ivy's and tapped Harley's shoulder. "You're with us, crazy."

Harley smiled and skipped into Ivy's home.

To be continued…


	12. Chapter 12

"Mr. Wayne, there seems to be some trouble uptown in Gotham City. It appears that Catwoman and The Joker have taken over Gotham National Bank. Shall I ready the Batmobile?" Alfred politely asked Bruce.

"At once, Alfred." Bruce turned on the television to see The Joker and Catwoman on the live news. They had spray painted in green something on the roof. He heard the news reporter say the word 'riddle' and as the camera panned closer Bruce saw that she was right.

_What did the claw and clown do? _

_Was it the conundrum goon?_

_All will be revealed soon._

_Just as soon as clue number two!_

Bruce studied the riddle and realised two things- The Joker and Catwoman are working with The Riddler and he's got to stop them before they hurt anyone. Bruce ran out of the research lab and into the batmobile.

_I'm going to stop them and teach them a lesson_, Bruce thought. _One way or another._

…

"There's nothing quite like an evening robbery, am I right?" Jack said as he giggled with delight. Selina muttered a reply and The Joker sensed something was up.

"What's up, kitty cat? Something bothering you? I thought you were the one for a little bank-robbing fun..." asked Jack.

Selina gave up pretending. "You know what it is? I don't like what you're doing with Ivy and Harley. I love them both equally and I can't stand seeing them being fooled by some clown. That's what's up, dick."

"What on earth are you talking about, Selina?" Jack questioned, acting confused.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Jack. You're publically with Harley but seeing Ivy on the side." Selina walked to the other side of the hall and looked at her watch. "I think you better make your mind up, Joker, which one is it? Ivy or Harley?HasrlyHasrl

Jack opened his mouth to answer but was silenced by a right hook delivered by the caped crusader. "I've had it up to here with you, Joker, and you, Catwoman. I never thought you'd be helping this wacko with his plans." He whispered in his husky voice. Selina got on her feet and flicked out her claws.

"Bring it on, batboy. I've been waiting for you." She said sensually.

Batman ran towards Catwoman, with a plan to grab her arms and pull them behind her back. She dodged his tackle and as he turned around she grabbed his face and dug her nails into his cheek slightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Am I hurting you?" She whispered. He tried to push her into the wall and handcuff her but she kicked his chest away from her and flipped back near the spiral stairs. Selina hissed and climbed up the stairs and upon reaching the top she jumped up and swung from the ceiling's lights across to the other side of the room. She sat down on the top of one of the stalls and purred at Batman.

He was contemplating different methods of reaching her when- CLONG! Joker's laugh was heard as the Batman fell to the ground.

"Crowbars! The best way to take out your local batbrain!" He laughed as Selina jumped down to help tie Batman to a chair.

…

Bruce opened his eyes and saw the two villains staring at him. He breathed deeply.

"We'll let you ask three questions, only three, and then you will receive the second clue. How does that sound?" asked Selina.

Batman nodded in agreement and The Joker laughed. "I suggest you ask your first question because I'm losing patience, baby."

To be continued…


End file.
